NaPoWriMo 12 – Random Things I Could Have Said
But you see, as a
matter of fact, I can blame
a guy for trying.
You may not see it,
but I actually do have
a brain of my own.
I didn’t get this
far, surprisingly enough,
by being stupid.
The fact that there are
no letters behind my name
does not make me wrong.
Corollary:
The letters behind
your name are no guarantee
that you are brilliant.
You go on ahead;
I’ll catch up…on my reading,
maybe take a nap.
NaPoWriMo 10 – Things I’ve Learned from You
To be strong but not hard
To be firm but not inflexible
To be principled but not holier-than-thou
To be traditional but not archaic
To be compassionate but not condescending
To be cautious but not crippled by fear
To be honest but not hurtful
To be disappointed but not despairing
To be cool under fire but not cold-hearted
To disagree but not disrespect
To make plans but not chisel them in stone
To set expectations but not beyond reach
To live with eyes, mind, and heart open
To love fully and freely
NaPoWriMo 11 – tanka
Some days you want a
blushing sunrise, heralding
bright blissful hours.
But some days a steady rain
is really all that will do.
NaPoWriMo 7 – A Mother Wonders
This is his birthday.
He is an adult, of age.
What am I to do?
NaPoWriMo 8 – ottava rima
Remember me when you are gone away,
for you’re the one who goes, while I must bide.
Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to stay;
You’ve things to do, and I still have my pride.
If you should think of it, call me some day —
Don’t promise; then it won’t seem that you lied.
And if your road should lead you back to me,
I’ll probably still be here…probably.
NaPoWriMo 9 – Vanished
Coffee, half-finished,
cold; back door standing open
to the summer night.
Shadow: (1) an inseparable companion or follower (2) pervasive and dominant influence
The son of a well-known minister of the gospel ended his own life a few nights ago. By all accounts, he was a loving and beloved young man, sensitive and compassionate to the pain of others. Despite his parents’ and his own best efforts to find help through medicine, counseling, and God knows how much prayer, he succumbed to the shadow.
I think it is truly impossible for people who have not had close dealings with mental illness to grasp how dogged a companion depression is, how deep and all-encompassing its reach.
I don’t know why the most carefully-tailored medication regimens, the most faithfully-followed lifestyle adjustment programs, the most empathetic counseling, the most fervent prayers don’t effect a cure. But for many of us, they don’t. We function well most of the time: we work productively, we interact successfully with those around us. We experience moments of genuine happiness. We are grounded in grace and we have ardent hope for the future. But the shadow is never fully dispelled. It is only exiled just out of sight, always hovering, seeking new avenues by which to darken our thoughts, testing old ones again and again. I don’t know why.
NaPoWriMo 4.1 – Unfortunate Conflict of Interest
It makes perfect sense;
however, my heart simply
will not come to terms.
NaPoWriMo 4.2 – A Fine Disregard for Awkward Facts
A lady does well,
I was taught, to learn not to
notice certain things.
NaPoWriMo 5 – a cinquain
Brahms and
birdsong mingle
through the summer screen door
serenading lavender and
jasmine.
NaPoWriMo 6 – a valediction
My calendar says
it’s thirteen years, yesterday,
since you went away
but I’m sure I heard
your voice just now in the still
of early morning.
Simply realizing that I was a broken doll didn’t result in my overnight transformation into a genuine real live girl. No blue fairy with softly shimmering wings appeared to anoint me with starlight and set me on my way. In fact, as I’ve mentioned before, my familiar little world had been badly shaken and my support network scattered at that time. And to make matters even worse, as I thought, we moved to an area where I knew no one but my parents-in-law, who were in the middle of a bitterly ugly divorce.
With the remarkable clarity of fifteen years’ worth of hindsight, I recognize now that all these things had to be. Had I stayed where I was, I most likely would have remained as I was: desperately miserable but paralyzed to do anything. The terrible upheaval in my life both forced and freed me to admit that I needed help from somewhere I hadn’t looked before.
Inaugurated in 1996 by the Academy of American Poets, April is observed in the U.S. as National Poetry Month. For more information, ideas on how to celebrate poetry in your life, and to subscribe to receive a poem a day by email, visit http://www.poets.org. April is also National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo), in which those of us who are so inclined are challenged to write a poem each day – more details are available at http://www.napowrimo.net.
Here are my efforts so far:
NaPoWriMo 1 – a found, mashed-up poem
Let us go then, you and I,
along the road less traveled by,
by which the sacred rivers run,
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.
Under the old trees let us lie
and see a star slide down the sky
while all the sands of life shall run
till time and times are done.
NaPoWriMo 2 – a lie
It never even
crossed my mind – the thought that you
could love me that way.
NaPoWriMo 3 – a late-night thanksgiving
Glory be to God for thunderstorms:
for lightning tearing through the midnight sky,
for echoes rumbling off into the dark.
Praise be for winds that roar,
for rain that pounds its reckless fury out
until it gentles to a lullaby.
Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.
When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, ‘Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?’ But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. ‘Don’t be alarmed,’ he said. ‘You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.’ Mark 16:1-6
Through darkness, you shall come to the light. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, ‘Of Tuor and His Coming to Gondolin,’ Unfinished Tales p 21
shadow: a shaded or darker portion of a picture
‘The story of Jesus is full of darkness as well as of light. It is a story that hides more than it reveals. It is the story of a mystery we must never assume we understand and that comes to us breathless and broken with unspeakable beauty at the heart of it yet by no means a pretty story.’ ~ Frederick Buechner, ‘The Two Stories,’ A Room Called Remember p 51
We call it Good Friday, this darkest day in the history of the church. We don’t understand. We, like the disciples, are so often sleepy, bewildered, unable to grasp the significance of what is happening. We’d prefer to avert our eyes, to fast –forward from the triumphal entry of Palm Sunday right on to the triumphal resurrection of Easter.
But this is the story as it happened. These dark hours are the hinge-pin upon which all that went before and all that comes after turns. The shadows cannot be skirted; they must be walked through.
‘When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, ’I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.’ Matthew 26:20-21
‘Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people came to the decision to put Jesus to death.’ Matthew 27:1
‘From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?’ – which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ Matthew 27:45-46
‘And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.’ Matthew 27:50
‘…this is a good world that has gone wrong, but still retains the memory of what it ought to have been.’
~ C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity, Bk 2, Ch 2
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